Define "chronic" masturbator.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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