I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
there's paper in my vomit.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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