Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
