Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
