Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
