i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
