how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
