Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
did i just pee glitter
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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