nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
