Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
