Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(352): View more from Florida

I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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(910): View more from North Carolina

dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?

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(518): View more from New York

I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?

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(905): View more from Ontario

My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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(847): View more from Illinois

u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends

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(509): View more from Washington

i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.

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(904): View more from Florida

He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"

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