Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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