she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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