Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
