it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
