According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
