I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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