You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
