Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
