The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
