how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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