Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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