while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
