If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
