I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
