He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize