Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
