I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
