Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
