and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
