its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
