Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The air taste purple.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
