i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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