Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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