I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
