So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize