...so i touched it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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