Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
