This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
