I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
