I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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