You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
