he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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