I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
