And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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