go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
