im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
