Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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