i don't like sucking hair
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
