there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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