im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
