how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
