Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
