I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
