There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize