haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
