did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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