Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
