allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
