i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
