OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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