My brain says no but my pants say off.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
