whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
