Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

(720): View more from Colorado

Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

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(925): View more from California

If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He told me they were just razor bumps!

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(212): View more from New York

yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.

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(206): View more from Washington

Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party

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(703): View more from Virginia

Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'

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