Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
