We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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