i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
