Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
